Horses

I look so darn good in blue. Wish I did not look so good in blue. Bl u u u u u u u u u u ue.
I am amazed. with myself. to realize how far and how deep i go. everytime we have. a major fight .like the last one. And how long I take to feel well again. to dance upon the stars. in the night sky. not so blue once you're there... black and empty, and silent. horses take me where your demons cannot go. there. counting your bees on me. i can't go, you said so... i wish i did not break so easily. but i do. break so easily. and i can't believe this. I almost regret entering relationships; and i am almost giving myself up. and i just can't wait to not be the center again. because i heard brian molko saying that he's the product of a broken home, "forever black-eyed", and i sympathized... a couple of days ago... but i do think those are all lies i told myself in which a keep believing. and i am oh so tired. there is no essential truth, no truth within. I can change the pictures of my past and the images of the present, but i just don't know how to do it.