My little heart, after intense experiences of pain can see what's beyond this human life, beyond the strong forces of the ego. The scorpio ego wants to possess, it wants it all, again, more, deeper, stronger, heavier. More. When it's good and when it's bad, it needs to go to the last drop. After I had a few last drops, I can say what happened to me, otherwise this blog will be what has always been, and I am up for change -- a place where I use to drop my loads when the emotional pressure was too high. Now I think I can start sharing the next steps.
Always after an intense experience of pain I see the light. It's the up part of my "downs". This might be the repeating pattern of scorpio, this need to go through all the process everytime, feel everything, first you have something you really like, then you fear the loss of it until you do lose -- and then, because it hurt so much, you are able to let go AND after letting go, you are free. Today the sun is shining, and it also comes from the inside. I understand one change in the pattern. The pattern of relatioships still exist, this is from the karma, I think it's not up for me to change it -- so maybe I can stop fighting and feeling hurt about the patterns and just accept them. But how I deal and how I feel about the patterns is changing. Today, and it's like this for a while, after a breakup I no longer hate them. No, I don't. I love them. I still love them. I bless them, I want them to be in my heart, and I send love. Avoiding the pain is avoiding life, and anyone should throw themselves to life, to its open jaws and let it be chewed by it, with passion. You cannot avoid the pain of seeing things and people how they really are, this is a blessing (and sometimes a curse). To know life and people as they are and not as they show themselves. The voice I heard yesterday that brought me silence and peace of mind was the voice of my heart. From all the voices inside my head, this is the one I must always listen. Not listen to the voice of anger, not listen to the voice of fear of loss, not listen to the voice of rejection. And listening to the voice of my heart brought rewards. Peace of mind. Certainty. Comprehension of the flows, coming and going of the universe. So this present experience was essential for me to notice this completely. There is sadness, but I gained myself, one step further. People that are too afraid to share and too afraid to welcome me are not of my interest. A scorpio, a sun and a rose. Mine are still beautiful. I never saw roses last more than a week. These are from the Venus ritual. I am coming home.
Um comentário:
You know I don't usually write in English, but since your latest posts were written in this cold language, here I go...
I really could feel the atmosphere of each text as I was reading them; they are emotionally dense. But this last one had light. It made me feel good about life, about you, your situation, and even about myself. Life hurts always, including in those moments when supposely we are doing exactly what we want...somehow it will always feel incomplete for some reason. There is always someone missing, something wrong about the weather... All I know is that this mix of blessing and pain that is life is easier when it's coherent to that inner voice.
I love you, and I am learning not to be afraid of saying and showing it.
Postar um comentário